Q: Why doesn't Simon Cowell drink whiskey?
A: Because it makes him mean!
I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, but I already have one.
If you drink too much alcohol you are an alcoholic. If you drink too much Fanta, does that make you Fantastic?
I'm not an alcoholic alcoholics go to meetings, I'm a drunk, we go to parties.
You say alcoholic, I'll say alcohol enthusiast
You lost me at "non-alcoholic"
I'm a recovering alcoholic. Or as my mate describes me, hungover.
An alcoholic hits his woman, a stoner hits it with his woman.
I'm not alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it's my birthday, and when it's not my birthday.
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, "My name is Tom and I'm an alcoholic?"